Advice for Expectant Fathers

If you’re a pregnant woman, chances are you’re getting a lot of attention but when you’re a dad-to-be…well you’re far less visible. While you’re not carrying the baby, fathers have a very important role to play through pregnancy and after. Research suggests that fathers who play an active role during pregnancy lower mom’s stress levels. This translates to a healthier environment for a developing fetus. In addition, fathers who are active during pregnancy are more likely to remain involved once the baby is born and beyond. Children who have a present father tend to do better socially, emotionally, academically and display higher levels of confidence. 

While there is no definitive guide on “how to be a dad,” we have researched and talked with a lot of Dads to put together some advice to help expectant fathers on their parenting journey. 

Before the Baby

•    Support healthy habits
Set your family up for success by laying a foundation of healthy habits. From what goes into your body to how you treat it. Pregnancy is a great time for both parents to eat the right foods and find a good balance between rest and movement. It’s also vital that you encourage the mom-to-be in your life to avoid unhealthy habits that could harm infant development such as smoking, drinking or drug use. 

•    Talk, read, and sing to your baby-to-be
Did you know that babies can hear during the second trimester of pregnancy and by the third trimester they can recognize voices? Begin early by talking, reading and singing to your baby to be. We’ve even heard stories of father’s get babies in the womb to reply to their voice with a “kick.”

•    Attend doctors’ visits as much as you can
Moms will go to the doctors a lot during pregnancy. At each OB/GYN appointment the baby’s growth and development is tracked. This is a great opportunity for you and your spouse/partner to bond. You get to hear the baby’s heartbeat and halfway through the pregnancy you get a full anatomy scan where you get to see an ultrasound of your little one! These are great opportunities for you to connect as a family and to be and extra set of ears.

•    Take an expectant parent’s class with your spouse/partner
Classes are a great way to help prep for parenting. A few dads that we talked to said before parenting classes they didn’t even know how to change a diaper or that there are more options then just breastfeeding. Classes are a great way to learn more about infants, their needs and how to care for them, as well as, learn strategies for coparenting.

•    Pack your hospital bag
Once labor kicks in you might be in the hospital for two to four days. It’s recommended that both partners have a bag packed with essentials for your stay to help make the trip to the hospital as smooth as possible. You’ll want to pack things like chargers, reading material, clothes, a comfortable pillow and blanket.

•    Be present for labor and delivery
Labor and delivery can be a scary thing for both parents. If you’ve never gone through it before there are a lot of unknowns. Research has shown that moms have a better delivery experience when their partner is with them. It helps to reduce anxiety and lower pain. 

•    Sleep!
Once the baby arrives sleeps starts to come in short supply, for a while. Expect nights with little to no sleep with a newborn. And before you have a newborn, try to rest and “catch up on sleep” while you can. 

•    Work on dad jokes
Dad jokes come naturally to some, but not for others. A fun staple of fatherhood is throwing out funny one liners or telling cheesy jokes. Brush up on your dad jokes by browsing a subreddit or checking out a joke book from the library. 

•    Discuss important family admin details
It might be a mundane task but talking to your partner about health insurance, life insurance, wills, and employer benefits are all things worth looking into before your little one arrives. We recommend figuring out what your plan will look like once you add your baby onto it, then you can adjust other pieces of your budget accordingly. 

After the Baby

•    Figure out responsibilities
New dads can do almost everything new moms can do from changing diapers to giving baths. If your partner is breastfeeding, you can participate by bringing the baby to her and burping the baby after the feeding. You also can take turns soothing when the baby is crying, taking walks with the baby, reading, and cuddling. 

•    Learn to read cues
Your baby will develop their own way to tell you what they need. When you spend time caring for and play with your baby, you start to learn their cues and can decode what they need.

•    Be present
It’s hard in today’s world where we are pulled at every direction but you’ll never regret the time you spend with your child. Even though they don’t do much when they are a baby you can still hold them, talk to them, and read to them which will help enrich their life. 

•    Have fun
There is no single “right way” to parent. Each child is unique, and their needs will be different. So while there is a lot of information out there to help provide guidance, ultimately you’ll want to do what works for you. Parenting is a journey and don’t forget to have some fun. Don’t sweat the small stuff and learn to laugh it all off.