Why self-love should be your number one resolution

If you want to have a better 2023, you might want to consider holding off on making traditional resolutions like detoxes, fitness plans, weight loss goals and consider instead on making self-love your priority. Let go of the negative stories about yourself that you’ve been living with and give yourself the gift of more: more happiness, better health, more successes, etc.

So, what do we mean by “self-love,” a concept that seemingly has been diluted by social media jargon. When we say “self-love,” we’re talking about the way in which we treat ourselves physically, mentally, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. Consider it a mind, body, soul tune up!

A journey towards self-love starts with food, exercise, sleep, relationships, and prayerful time. When you break self-love down into these categories it makes it easier to take the concept of “self-love” into actionable goals or resolutions. The biggest question to answer to yourself with all goals you’re setting towards more self-love is “Am I honestly and truly showing love to myself by engaging in this behavior?”

Start by identify any negative stories you’ve been telling yourself about your worth, capabilities, or potential happiness and successes. Loving yourself means stepping out of your story and seeing that the real you isn’t a person who keeps making and breaking New Year’s resolutions. The real you has unlimited potential that is just waiting to be tapped into. 

Loving yourself is giving yourself permission to change, to be different and better than the person you’ve been. Self-love can free you from old scripts and gives you the opportunity to start fresh. To help jump start some ideas on actionable ways to work towards more self-love in 2023 we’ve put together the following ideas:

Food

Ever hear the adage “you are what you eat?” There is truth in that statement. Our gut is home to billions of bacteria and the food we eat directly affects our gut health. In turn, this influences the production of neurotransmitters or our body’s chemical messengers that are constantly carrying messages from the gut to the brain. 

Ninety percent of serotonin receptors, or mood regulators, are in the gut! So that means that what we put into our bodies trigger physiological changes associated with emotions. For example, if you eat something sweet it produces dopamine, and we feel happy. Or eating something spicy can trigger something called VR1 receptors which activates sweating or discomfort in the body. 

When you’re practicing self-love, you want to make good food choices that help keep your mood (and body) balanced. Some recommendations are consuming foods with high protein content, fresh vegetables and reducing intake of alcohol or simple carbohydrates (like sugar). Also consider implementing a daily multivitamin and probiotic supplement. 

The art of making your food is an act of self-love. We recommend trying one of these 30 minute meals from EatingWell.

Exercise

When we say exercise, we don’t mean setting unrealistic goals for reaching a new weight or maintaining a routine you cannot keep up with. We mean doing mindful physical activity that helps improve mental health and ease the effects of chronic stress on the mind and body.

Evidence has suggested that physically active people have lower rates of anxiety and depression. The theory is that physical activity triggers a release of dopamine and serotonin, which can improve mood.

Exercise can lead to sense of accomplishment. While the motivation to get up, get dressed and go might not be so fun in the moment, prioritizing this loving self-act can lead to a cascade effect of other healthy habits. 

Sleep

Quality sleep is an important component of overall health, which is a key to self-love. There are numerous benefits to consistently getting a full night’s rest. While you’re sleeping, the body performs several repairing and maintaining processes. 

Sleep can help with:
•    Improved Mood
•    Healthy Heart
•    Regulated Blood Sugar
•    Improved Cognitive Function
•    Restored Immune System
•    Stress Relief
•    Athletic Performance
•    Maintaining Healthy Weight

It can be hard to get quality sleep with a baby or little ones, and you might be seeing the impact that a lack of sleep can have both mentally and physically. Rest assured (pun intended) that it does get better. Consider switching off night duty with your partner, avoiding screen time before bed, creating a relaxing bedtime routine for both you and your baby and asking for help when you need it. 

The golden rule of sleeping with an infant is try sleeping when the baby sleeps. It is hard to let go of your home feeling “out of sorts” but it’s okay to let the dishes go unwashed or leave the laundry unfolded for the sake of getting more rest.

Relationships

Relationships might be one of the most important areas where we need to tend to ourselves first to take care of the relationship. This goes for all relationships, both intimate ones and those with friends, family, and coworkers. 

A rule of them is to take time for you. Time away from your partner and children provide you an opportunity to recharge. We all need time to engage in solo activates that bring personal fulfillment or to just have time alone to think. The happier you are the happier you’ll be with others and be able to be present for them.

It’s also okay to give yourself permission to set boundaries. We have a right to our boundaries and if you sense yours are being violated it’s okay to set limits and be clear about your needs in a respectful way. If someone is not able to respect your wishes and act of self-love is to remove the toxic person from your life. If the toxic person is someone a little more challenging to remove (like family), attempt to set boundaries and create more distance between you if need be.

We are hardcoded to connect with others, but we also have a unique desire to “be ourselves.” It’s hard to forget how important taking care of yourself is, especially with small children, but taking time to focus on you can greatly benefit those you care most about!

Prayer/Meditation

Mental fitness is as essential to good health as physical fitness. Two ways to increase your self-love and improve overall wellbeing is to incorporate prayer or meditation into your daily routine. People who pray have reported a better sense of calm and peace in their daily lives. If you don’t have a strong background in prayer, you might be wondering, where do I start? The best way to add prayer into your life is to start by setting aside a few minutes of quite time in your life. Acknowledge what you’re grateful for and ask for what you need help with (i.e. more strength or patience).  As you continue to flex your prayer muscle you might consider developing your faith further and find scripture suggestions you can read from the Bible to help you grow a closer relationship with God. 

Meditation is another way to quiet the mind and practice concentration and mindfulness. Mindfulness encourages you to observe wandering thoughts and ideas, but not think them through. It’s a way to see how our bodies and emotions react to the thought instead of acting on the thought. This is an excellent way to get in tune with your body and find time for yourself.